What are the 5 Stages of Greif After Loss?

After losing someone close, you may be experiencing pain that feels overwhelming and confusing. This is particularly true if you’ve never had to go through a loss before, and you might not understand what’s happening. Or, if you know someone who had to plan a  direct cremation in Yukon, OK, you might be wondering what the experience is or how you can help them. Understanding the stages will help clarify what may be happening and make the experience an easier one.

Denial

The first stage is known as denial and is in place to help minimize the pain from the individual passing away. In many cases, facing the loss can be the most significant part of the challenge, especially if this individual was very close to you. It can take a period to understand the person is gone as time with them is reflected on. Denial works to slow down the processing and navigate the loss in a more appropriate time frame.

Anger 

This stage is typical after losing someone you love. Considering their missing presence will alter your everyday reality, and it takes time to start learning to accept this. Anger is also a more socially accepted emotion that allows for less fear around being judged but keep in mind not to isolate and to be open to receiving comfort and connection from others.

Bargaining

The loss might bring up feelings of desperation to bring the individual back and manifest itself in a variety of promises. An individual might say something like:

“If you let this person live, I promise to be better.”

“I won’t get upset again if you stop them from passing away.”

In the requests, the individual might be looking for a higher power outside of themselves to change the outcome. Vulnerability and helplessness can set in when you understand that nothing you can do to change the situation. It’s also not common to revisit past experiences or conversations and wish you could change them.

Depression

Depression sets in when the reality of the situation starts becoming the present situation. As the three other stages diminish, the loss will become more present and need to be processed. It is not uncommon to become less friendly and want to spend more time by yourself. Depression is also something you want to take responsibility for, so if it continues and you are finding no relief, you may want to seek a doctor or therapist who can help you through the process.

Acceptance

The last stage involves no longer feeling the intense pain or denying what has happened. Sadness and feelings of melancholy can still arise but with that is the sense of knowing you can’t change it and that you need to continue with your life.

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